The Walterland Blog

Last night, my daughter Natalie (the 2 month old) hibernated through the night... She didn't just sleep through the night... she hibernated. Katie put her to bed at 9:30, she didn't get up once... I went in and woke her up at about 7:15 this morning... she didn't want to wake up either. This was the second night in a row it happened. I wonder if this is a new trend. If I wasn't for me being on call for work, I woulda got to enjoy her little marathon sleeps more.

No way you'd get me out on that...

Grand Canyon to Get Glass-Bottomed Walk

Why do people ALWAYS add that in... Is it to show that they've seen the original of a remade movie? A movie that's 30 years old (or older) and impossible to find? I don't really think these people have in fact seen the original… I think they just want to be able to add something to the conversation. I might have to try doing that sometime.

Another one... when someone makes a reference to a book. "That was nothing like the book." "The original one followed the book more..." We all know people like this... I started using the following when someone references the book, "They made that into a book?" Every single time I used that... I got the following response, "The book was first." It's kinda fun to feed into small egos.

When did they start segregating parking at convenience stores...? Offering up the best parking spots to compact cars... This seems like a trend that is growing. I've been to 3 gas stations/convenient stores this week, and all of them had segregated parking... I wonder what the penalty is for parking an SUV in a compact car spot...

The family and I were on our way back from making an ice cream run to Dairy Queen... Natalie was being her fussy self, so we got our cones to go... While driving home... I squished a skunk. I don't mean that I ran over a skunk... I squished it. No one hit it before me; it was alive up until the point when I squished it. The stench was incredible... I could actually taste it, and kinda still can. It made me want to throw up...

It just figures that last night it was like 67º outside... great sleeping weather... and I have to smell the stench of my skunk truck all night.

Apparently... I sit in traffic a lot... While I was on my way to the mall this weekend with the family, I found myself sitting at a red light... We wound up sitting second in line at this particular light... Now, I know we've all been behind this guy before... the guy that thinks the more you creep toward the light; the faster it will turn green. The same logic can be used by continually pressing the button while waiting for an elevator.

I enjoy this because I don't inch forward to make up for the empty room. Makes them stick out like a sore thumb. Does this inching up to a light trick really work? Maybe I should try doing it myself... It didn't seem to work for this person.

Police battle looters after beer train crashes...

Why is it that some people mow their grass diagonally? I don't have an opinion on it one way or the other, it just confuses me... Should I be doing this too? I tend to just stick with the old fashion horizontal and vertical mowing. Maybe I'll get to a point one day where I'm looking for something different than my usual mowing style and attempt this. I just haven't felt courageous or energetic enough recently.

I am going to have to take some pictures of the people in my hood that try to execute the, apparently difficult, diagonal mow... You'd think they let their kids do it.

From time to time I like to share some of my fun sociological experiments with others to try... Well, I have a new one...

The next time you find yourself behind the wheel, and at a red light... pull up right next to the person beside you. I don't mean get within inches of their car, but line yourself right up with the driver... sit there right beside them and see how long it takes before they creep forward past you. I noticed that just about everyone I tried this on didn’t care for someone directly beside them. Even if you don't want to try it, take notice of how traffic staggers at lights... You rarely see someone right beside someone else. Every time I did it this morning, the person next to me crept forward.

I must admit, it made me feel a little uncomfortable as well just even doing it. I'd equate it with sitting right beside someone in an empty McDonald's... or, peeing next to someone in an empty men's room.

'Nintendogs'

Yesterday, to get out of the house for a little, I found myself at the Ghetto Mall (formerly know as the West Manchester Mall).

I had not been in this mall for a long, long damn time apparently... so, I didn't know it had morphed into the Ghetto mall. I guess since they have the Ghetto Wal Mart (Ghetto Mart), it was only a matter of time. One of the reasons we went here is so my daughter could play games (arcade). We usually go to the Galleria for that, but it was 4:00 and neither my wife nor I really felt like crossing town. Upon entering the Ghetto Arcade... we were approached by a "local" trying to hit us up for quarters... Now, we just got there. How can you convince someone that you don't have any quarters... Well, here's how you do it... "I don't have any quarters." He bought it and walked away... moron.

I did take notice though that of all the games that were still there (and working), half of them were shooting games... I wonder why. This mall has definitely gone way down hill. I'm not even sure I'd call it a mall anymore. It's basically turned into one big cell phone store. No joke, every 20 feet or so, there was either a cell phone store, or a cell phone kiosk. I wonder why.

I predict that in 4 years... we'll be calling him just "P" or "D" or something...

Diddy Drops the P...

If you have kids (especially girls) then you are most likely well acquainted with Dora the Explorer. My oldest daughter LOVES Dora the Explorer... Mommy and myself... well, not so much.

The whole show is actually starting to freak me out a little bit. Who are the parents of this little girl... letting her go gallivanting around with some monkey? My opinion on the whole thing... Dora has Hydrocephalus... and her parents are letting her go out and about with her big head and some "monkey" because that's what she wants to do. I don't think the monkey is real, not just because it's a cartoon. I think the whole thing is in her big damn head, including the magical "backpack" she totes around that has EVERYTHING in it.

Her parents are letting her do all this because she has this disease and they want her to be happy. And if being happy means pretending to be an "Explorer" then so be it.

I think I need to leave the room when Dora's on from now on.

90% of the time now... when I go down to my local Weis Markets, I go through one of the U-Scan aisles. They have the good U-Scan system... not the one that you need to "Please place you item in the bag." They have the little conveyor system that takes your item down the aisle. Anyhow... what I like best about these... paying by credit card.

When you pay by credit card, it then asks you to sign the little electronic signature pad. I found that you can use any name you want. I have used, "Superman", "Mighty Mouse", "Homer Simpson", "Your Momma", "X" (just the letter X), "I ROCK!!!", "YOU SUCK!!!", and many, many others. Apparently, it doesn't matter who uses my credit card.

If I ever happen to be in possession of a stolen credit card one day... this might be one of the first places I use it at.

This morning, I made my older daughter eggs for breakfast... for the very first time. I have cracked eggs open before and added them to recipes and stuff, but I had never actually cooked "eggs" before in my life. I gotta admit... they're pretty damn gross.

If the government, or whomever, is looking for a new form of torture... look no further than my 1 month old daughter. After listening to her SCREAMING for hours on end... I'd have done just about anything to make it stop...

If I was robbing a bank or something, and they blasted that noise at me... I'd run out with my hands smashed onto my ears crying, "MAKE IT STOP!!!" I don't know how much longer this can go on...

My wife has it much worse than me though. She has to listen to her for most of the day while I'm at work. When I get home from work, it starts all over again because she only wants to be held by my wife. Don't even think about sitting down while you're holding her... she'll have none of that. You need to be pacing the floor, while bouncing, shooshing, and swinging.

I hope she sleeps today and tonight... she needs it.

Maybe it's because I haven't gone on a vacation for a couple years... hopefully someone who has can explain this to me. Why do some people like to advertise where they go for vacation in the form of bumper stickers? I'll give you an example... I see tons of "OBX" stickers which, I believe, signifies "The Outer Banks." Yesterday, I got behind a car with a "SGH" sticker... The destination was written below it, but was too small to read... I'm speculating Sag Harbor, but I could be wrong.

Are these stickers some sort of status symbol... Maybe it's a new kind of "car club." These places could also be trying to supplement their incomes in preparation of hurricane repairs. Beats me...

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